Shoes talk

I try them on. I fall in love with them instantly!

They dress my feet perfectly. My toes look sexy and seductive. My legs feel like supermodel's. Even though it is super fine, I am struggling between practical-me and my desire.

It's a pair of shoes that I don;t get to wear everyday. I am supposed to shop for formal shoes, not these fine sexy shoes.... Minutes after experiencing the glamour by walking on them, I felt the back pain, I guess the heels are way too high for me.

They are different from what've I imagined. I missed my Crocodile shoes, so comfortable but make my feet look boring in the "saint" way. There are millions of sexy shoes out there, everyday they come and go. They are like fairy tales to me. ONe day I feel like a princess, some days a powerful queen, or a glamorous fairy. They are not real in real world. We spend to feel special. We spend to be illusionists.

A gal once told me that, "She felt like forcing herself into shoes that didn't fit. In relationship, she felt the same way. One day, she learn that she needs to work to understand the other person & herself in real way."

That's when you see the true beauty of that person.

Choice

Sometimes, you saw jerks getting married. You wonder how do they manage to get someone to be with them................. I wonder.

Or is it because we, women who become really desperate seemed to lose our "sight" and "mind" easily, thus tend to downgrade our IQs in order to marry with someone, well anyone, well there come those jerks.

A true story. A high educated 30-yrs old lady got pregnant with a married man. She was beautiful, smart and fun. It was shocking to learn that she has chosen this path. Outrageous- that's how I felt! It's her choice, indeed no one could imagine all the emotion and struggle that she has been through.

Our parents give us the best education that we could have. Today, we ladies have so much freedom compared with the old days - we have the right to vote, to work, to choose etc. Parents nowadays hope that their daugthers would be happy and one day be married happily ever after.

They don't expect us to be always right but at least be responsible to live our freedom.

Broken Soul

When she shared with me about the crisis of her long distance relationship, my heart sank.

Over the other side of the phone, I heard cries and silence, back and ford.

I wished that I have the magic word to cheer her up.

But, I was at one point, speechless.

I imagined, smile on her face disappeared without a trace. With red puffy eyes, tears still dropped on her shirt. Crying with heart aching. Sorrow was in her voice.

It was a long night holding my phone to stay close with her.

That night, past memories flashed back. I missed the time we both walking down the icy street & breathing in the winter air. It was surreal.

Life becomes worthwhile when someone is there to tell you that "It's okay. You'll make it".

I'm sure, she will make it.

Something to think about

"Live without expectation, there comes happiness and surprise. "

Play your part

There was once a friend told me that she is very good in acting. Till today, she is STILL very much. I called her my guru and my mentor.

Good in acting means hiding your true feeling. Most of the time, you are doing the expression opposite of what you feel in heart. Most people do that. It's in everyone. You lie about your feeling. You disguised your dissapointment. Human nature, you know how to raise your voice to be happy or surprised, just like your instinct to shop for the right handbag for only tuesday theme.

When I was in college, when I found out this guy that I adored fell in love with another gal. I acted happy to congratulate him. He told me out of the blue. Imagine my heart was dialing "911" to my logistic centre to act- opposite of how I felt that time. My emotion shut down automatically. When I was scolded by boss, I act to tone down my voice and listen to him patiently. I wonder how many times do we need to act in a day- possible 50 times per day?!?!?

THen at one time you will feel lost because your heart disconnects from your soul and body. It's tiring to keep repeating the acting and reversal.

In conclusion, we act to survive, except that we don't get paid millions to play the part.